Manners Maketh the Man (and Woman) - A Guide to UK Politeness

“Yes, that’s great. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot, cheers, bye”. Walk into any shop on an average UK high street and you can expect to hear a deluge of pleases, thank yous and a litany of other pleasantries that can overwhelm the average English language learner.  

If you’re an international student studying in the UK, this barrage of politeness can be tricky to get your head around. After all, with so many different ways of saying the same thing, how do you know which words and phrases to choose in different contexts? Thankfully, we’re here to help.   

The importance of minding your Ps and Qs 

Minding your Ps and Qs is an English language expression that was first recorded in the 18th century. The origin of the phrase is disputed, but it means to make a special effort to be polite and to be careful in your behaviour and speech. Keeping this expression in mind and sprinkling pleases and thank yous liberally into any appropriate conversation will always put you in a good light. 

“Sorry” is the most overused word in the English language   

In the UK, “sorry” is more than just a Justin Bieber song. It’s one of the words you’ll hear most often. British people will go a long way to avoid upsetting you, and saying sorry, often profusely, is their way of doing that. Even if you’re not looking where you’re going and bump into someone, the likelihood is that they’ll say “sorry” to you first. However, if you’re in the wrong, it’s important that you match their “sorry” with at least one of your own or you risk offending them.  

Where queueing becomes an art form 

Queueing is a strange phenomenon in the UK that has politeness at its core. Whether it’s to pay for your shopping in the supermarket or get on a bus, you’ll find that people queue in an orderly and polite way, with pushing in very much frowned upon. Such is the extent of the UK’s crippling queueing addiction, that often people will join a queue for a till when another till is free, and no one really knows why. 

Saying hello  

Although they’re overwhelmingly polite, the reserved nature of the Brits means that greetings are often quite a standoffish affair. While hugging and kissing might be a common way to say hello in Europe, this is usually reserved for close friends and relatives in the UK.  

A simple “hello”, “hi” or “how are you?” are common verbal greetings. “Alright”, the shortened form of “all right”, as in “are you all right?”, is also very common, and intriguingly, it’s not really a question. Get your head around that one.    

Being on time 

Punctuality is important to the Brits and being late without a good excuse or saying “sorry” is considered rude. For a lecture, tutorial or any kind of formal meeting, it’s best to arrive five minutes early. If you’re meeting a friend, you should try your best to be on time. If it’s a larger gathering like a party then being a few minutes late is not such a big deal.  

There’s even a saying “fashionably late”, which means to turn up to a party 10 minutes or so after the appointed time. Arriving a bit late ensures you’re not left making slightly awkward small talk with a host you hardly know before anyone else arrives. However, it only applies to informal gatherings and certainly not lectures or important meetings. 

It’s a good thing really 

It may seem a little strange at times, but British politeness is a good thing. Although it may seem excessive at first, you’ll soon realise that it’s just everyone’s way of going about their business without offending anyone else. It’s also another reason why studying in the UK can be such a fantastic experience.